nathanael.ink

there is a stirring for which God has given no release. a build up which does not peak.  after it begins it cannot end, with one sin, there stirs an endless ache. with no proper place to break up, the pressure builds. I foresee no end, just a struggle which comes and goes and I cannot defend. after it begins, does it ever end?

is this why we wait. why the good Lord says wisdom is in the ultimate patience.

perhaps it is not for the sanctity of the act, but for the sanity thereafter. I have felt many things more sacred I am sure. I have been more satisfied by other things I am sure. yet still there is a build up, which becomes hard to disperse from my thought. it is not like disease which kills or leaves when untreated.  it is not like drowning which will increase while you are not swimming, and at some point may be too late to recover from at all.

oh it is simple as a bottle building pressure, and I wonder what will happen if it could build up enough.

and on the same thought I say to my Spirit “do not fear, I shall not want, for what can my body do against me? will it burst on it’s own? surely God has thought this through, and there is recovery yet for me.”