were original
then subjugated
all spiritual
all lovely
gods love
in a vial
in your hand
divvied out to us
you know already
we all pray, for the wrong things
sin is all giving
without knowledge of the need
better to listen
than to force-feed
were original
then subjugated
all spiritual
all lovely
gods love
in a vial
in your hand
divvied out to us
you know already
we all pray, for the wrong things
sin is all giving
without knowledge of the need
better to listen
than to force-feed
some people i love aren’t alive
of whatever i have to be proud
they’ll have none
or
have only themselves to
whisper about it
everyone can swim
and for those of us who can’t
God parts the sea
and everyone walks
had we no Image
my God, we could never part anything
thank God, thank God
we do
“some people aren’t alive”
when I sit to write
is all I can think
“some people aren’t alive”
when I sit to write
when I sit to think
— it’s all I can
“some people aren’t even alive”
and I am
poems don’t get better
we only understand them more
the spirit of god
was always with the ones in need
A pair of pink pants—
Dad says,
“Strange, isn’t it?
Pink once stood for boys
before it got swapped from some marketing push.”
I see some sparkly high heels—
Mom nods,
“Men wore these first—
Persian soldiers, French nobility—
heels meant power, not ‘girliness.’ back then.”
Further on, a glittering eyeshadow palette—
Dad taps it and says
“Powder and rouge
were symbols of status
in the 18th century;
kings and courtiers wore them a lot.”
We come to a crib—
Mom’s voice turns soft:
“Not all women carry children—
it doesn’t make them any less,
and even my being a mother
does not make me any more of a woman.”
Beyond that were diaper bags marked “For Dads”—
Dad shrugs:
“Plenty of men don’t become fathers,
some fathers have wombs—
biology isn’t as simple
as this way or that.”
They pause and look at me:
“So… which one are you?” they ask
I swallow my questions,
feeling unsure.
“I am not certain,” I say.
They smile,
“Then let’s keep walking! I’m sure you’ll find something.”
I pass some bright sequined pants,
Mom remembers,
“There was a time
women weren’t allowed to wear pants all—
but nobody bats an eye at that now.”
A well-tailored suit catches my eye—
Dad runs a hand over the fabric:
“Men often wore fancy skirts, too—
think of kilts, or robes of old kings.
Clothes don’t tell us what is inside of a person.”
They ask me again,
“So… which one are you then?”
I look from item to item—
pink and blue, glitter and denim,
cribs and caps,
it’s a swirling centuries of things!
My answer rises, clearer this time:
“I don’t want to be either,” I say.
“Why do I have to decide?”
Mom and Dad both pause
and then softly smile
I hold each of their hands
and we leave the aisles behind.
i was always going to die
some people are never born again
i was always going to lose everything
think i’m lucky to be alive for it
you can be born as many times as you want
without asking anyone
i was always going to die
some people are never born again
4 If anyone thinks they have reasons to be confident in their spiritual accomplishments, I have more:
5 Baptized as a child and baptized in the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues; raised in a devoted Christian family, an evangelical among evangelicals; regarding purity, I strictly adhered to purity culture from my youth.
6 As for passion, I worshiped fervently—lifting my hands, singing and dancing with all my heart without reservation in both private prayer closets and public services. As for prayer, spending daily hours in intercession and communion with God. Regarding knowledge, I regularly read through the full of the Bible and intensely studied apologetics for years upon years. I manifested spiritual gifts—prophesying, healing, and discerning spirits.
7 In evangelism, I actively shared the gospel, converting people at parties and at work. I participated in mission trips, street evangelism, and community outreach programs. Demonstrating faith in action, I trusted God in all circumstances and shared testimonies of His work in my life.
8 I was deeply involved in church life—attending every service, joining small groups, serving in various ministries, and submitting to the guidance of pastors and elders. Practicing generosity, I faithfully tithed and gave to charitable causes. As for righteousness based on religious orthopraxy, I was blameless.
9 But whatever were gains to me, I now consider them loss for the sake of Christ.
10 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of truly knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake, I have let go of all these things and regard them as insignificant, in order to gain Christ
11 And be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from following religious rules, but that which comes through faith—the righteousness that comes from genuine understanding and love.
12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,
For in Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female; for we are all one in Him. [Galatians 3:28]
Therefore, I seek to imitate Christ in His boundless love—embracing all people without distinction of gender, class, or status. [Ephesians 5:1-2], [John 13:34-35]
Committed to nonviolent resistance to evil, I strive to overcome hatred with love, injustice with righteousness, and conflict with peace, following the example He set. [Matthew 5:39, 44], [Romans 12:21], [1 Peter 2:21-23]
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. [1 Corinthians 13:1]
Without love, all my achievements are nothing. So now, these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. [1 Corinthians 13:2-3, 13]
Thus, my true communion with Christ is found in imitating His selfless love for all people and His unwavering commitment to justice through nonviolence. [Ephesians 5:1-2], [Micah 6:8], [Matthew 5:9]
i clasp
the curve of my back
i have watered and watered myself
only to hide what i have grown
disappear my sex into my soul
before god split man in two, we were whole
i have claimed myself o’er and o’er
i have burned my body up in truth
the rash of beauty along my body
was never owed to me
it betrays the sex of my soul
i clasp the curve of my back
to grow old & old and run out of time & strength
to keeping hiding and hidden
what has grown
two hundred and forty dollar walk
i’ll have a new brother by the end of it
five hundred and ninty nine songs on my discovery playlist
and not one more
for almost four years
i’ll stall and stall until i have something to say
on a two hundred and forty dollar walk
i’m heaving
a fat burrito in my gut
it will at least be downhill on the way back
two pistols
i worry for my own pressing eyes
right to Grand Blvd
to the UPS store
a two hundred and forty dollar walk
i’ll never hear the end of this
not one more
for almost four hundred years
the Neanderthals looked like us
that’s where the uncanny valley came from
someone looks like my brother
but everything is off enough
that i know it’s not
someone looks like my family
but they hate the immigrant and refugee
so i know they’re not