nathanael.ink

first I’d just, again, like to express how bizarre memory is. the fact that it is at all, that it could ever exist, and we all believe in it. the fact that I am not insane for being about to recall events past. it feels such a strange sort of thought in my head that, if it were any other thought, I would think I could nearly be the only one to ever think it at all. to spend the present on what was already present, but no longer. to recount events at all, outside of purely historical documents which we read and imagine with no affiliation to myself. really is baffles me, that so many could have memory at all. while at the same time, sometime I wonder if certain people use it at all; or indulge in it.  just strange that I could visualize and sometimes create nearly every sense from it, from what IS NOT. granted it was, but it now is not. on those measure I think memory might be the closest thing to faith as I will ever be able to comprehend. faith is like memory, except for the future. being so certain of what is to come, that my senses can feel it even now.

.. how strange, to be so appropriate. I imagine God planned it. no wonder memory is so strange. or maybe, ‘no wonder faith is so strange.’ perhaps He knew, all along. we must be some sort of creature, which operates partly outside of time, and one part which travels across the scale of it.. which, is scripturally accurate though, so, makes sense.

….. woe. now. I reflect on these things…