nathanael.ink

this would be that night. where I am finding all past ‘lovers’ and spoiling what could grow into more flavor. like uncorking a barrel of wine too soon.

tonight would be one of those, where I am texting and calling all who I could display a fraction to.

tonight you would get drunk. tonight you would kill yourself; you would try.

this is the sort of night, which willingly limps into itself, like a vegetable down a child’s throat. how like a sword in the magicians mouth is the night!

this is that sort. where you are so overcome with your own folly, that you will not look at anything else. where to sit in it, seems such an ill proportioned punishment. as we suffer only the consequence of actions. while He suffers the same for them.. yet, He has done no wrong.

how long, will I keep Him from me for it? How long is enough to punish me, and make my whole being realize, it’s not worth it. not worth it to leave at all.

please God.. forgive. I want to be in love

with You more. oh much more. oh God, let love in, teach me how, oh to let love in