nathanael.ink

cap’n crunch teeth… so strange to feel a not-all-too-smooth of a layer-feel over my teeth. my parents house is a strange comfort, perhaps I could liken it to this feeling of my teeth. in that it acts as a layer, a strange enamel feel, as if to think that if I consume to much time with this house, with this family, that I’ll develop a strange coat… I don’t rightly think that’s true. though I could try too. but I don’t really.\
I really want my new apartment to get shampooed. so that I can freely arrange everything. I am very less with money than I expected it to be. I’m also very bad with tithing. so I get the feeling that the two of those thoughts are linked. but, what do I know?

I recently underwent a series of conversations in which I asked “who are you?” and requested a detailed and thoughtful respond of who you want people to see you are.
and since wednesday
I am convicted. what if it’s this very thing. this very one. that keeps me from freedom. maybe I create myself, and I try to measure up to the person I with I was, and maybe sometimes it is a show, a persona. a display. fake.
aaaaaaa I don’t know.. for once I feel like it’s too late to think like this. too late at night, and too late within the moments I drag in my memory..