nathanael.ink

it’s been quite a time.
it is strange to come home to this apartment. for it to be home.
home has always been the place in which I return to find social creatures being lazy and scarcely social at all, but there none the less. to say with their presence “I am here. and so are you. and it is good”
here, I find myself instantly faced with all the conflicts of a day. of the mind. of tomorrow and the weeks to come. of finances and mobility. health even, and wondering what food to eat. while it used to be just waiting for any sort of food to be ready.
called to the table.
sat up in a chair. prayer. consume. and wait out the rest of the day.

adulthood is in fact terribly frightening.
I remember God. here in moments like this.
I am glad to know He is all that He is. Here. He has come home with me today, from there, now here. and He is excited for the silence we will be able to share here alone with one another. He loves to smile at the things I do half-asleep, and the thoughts I think half-awake.. He loves that I still struggle with the simplest of things, and He is eager to show me simple better ways.
it’s been a long day.
and here, He waits for me.
and I mustn’t keep Him waiting. 🙂