nathanael.ink

I had the worst dream
I saw them
male and female
his voice was carrying
the entire house
and her on a knife’s edge
saying everything
she too regrets

I heard him say the threat
and I heard her say the reply…

and I knew
my parents

and I cried out

and I saw him
old
and praying that his only remaining child would survive
and I felt that my seeing it
was God answering

and I saw my wife
and I told her
I had space for everything she is finding with this other man
and my mind oscillated between
saying I could be what I cannot
and saying he could not be
what I never was

and
when him
and all of us
and everything
all runs out… who will still be there?
and
I’ll be goddamned
if I am not…

and everyone I meet now
knows
if I can still be friends with the dead
then you can still be my wife