nathanael.ink

how did it end?
insects at night
in my mind
chirp the endless thought
how did it end?
really end?
it felt so close to lasting forever
just one failed moment after another
it accumulates, they say,
but it doesn’t feel that way in the middle of it
you just think
if we get through this
through this one
then forever on
we will maintain

if i could have just guessed the right words
her soul wished so to hear
words she could not tell me
words she needed me to know
without her ever saying so

then after that
maybe I…
I’d never have to again

maybe then
I could be loved without condition
maybe if I…
if I…
‘if I’ must be indicative of some special misery
like bats in a cave
‘if I’ bounces around my brain, together and alone
the same

i never learned i could have been enough for someone
without even trying
i never knew i was allowed
to call me beautiful
before now