nathanael.ink

oh that was before the end
a whirl dies down
my family and them at some event
some picture I’m not in
I can’t recall the final time
& dates don’t help
forever
I said
eternity in my heart I meant
I heard GOD’s present moment is big
so big my past and future fit in it
I hate GOD
or
I hate being GOD
I hate having back the present moments I passed
I cannot know whoever they are now
I hate how when I am GOD I already know where this is going
I hate being GOD and sitting on my hands to keep from putting the world I want together

I don’t want them free
I don’t like knowing someone said they loved me and will never say it again

the only thing I like about GOD might be not changing
if I cut my hair I am another person
the old is passing and the new still becoming

all of this before the end
one which I still cannot tell is ever coming