nathanael.ink

“you know what assuming does…”
but people do not like when I don’t assume
I must assume what they mean with every word they say
I must assume what they will think when I say what I say
“you know what making the wrong assumption does…” should be the phrase

when you speak a clock begins
I only have that barely window
to speak again
in kind
so I have to guess
I have to guess what need was motivating what you said
I have to guess why you said it the way you did
I have to guess, based on that, what I should say
and become aware of what is going on in me
I have to guess how what I will say will move both you and I in different ways
and when I find a thing that is right to me but, I have to assume, will stir a pain in you
I have to start it all again, but I’m still on the clock
the window narrows before you wonder why I won’t respond
before you wonder what is wrong
before no one’s brain almost ever thinks “oh it’s okay, he’s just different than me” — brains seem to insist
something must be wrong with me
and the shutters of the window close
so I have to, now, squeeze my responding words through those
and when I have tried and tried for this long while
to respond in kind
so often, but not so often that anyone seems to really keep it in mind, but still quite often enough
I get the calculous tremendously wrong
and they say
“don’t you know what assuming does…?”
but I do
I do know
but you don’t