it has to be in your head that way
maybe, for it to be right
i’ve had so much scrumbled up
no doubt
it has to be right
in your head
maybe
fifteen three to five year olds are asleep
two teachers teach
i have enough time to write
at least this
it has to be in your head that way
maybe, for it to be right
i’ve had so much scrumbled up
no doubt
it has to be right
in your head
maybe
fifteen three to five year olds are asleep
two teachers teach
i have enough time to write
at least this
Christ was a child
we know for sure
I hope he was the riley one
made to rule when all they begged him
was to listen
I hope his cries shined and shined
mocking every plan his parents had
I hope when they knew
they looked back
and knew
he was just like James, and John
and all the boys they knew
but now, they knew, which parts were God in them
and which parts
were God’s parts too
for every minute you’re teaching them
you need two
of play togethering
for every time they look up at you
or come and find you
you need two
where you saw and found them first
for every project you make them do
you need two
invented on their own
and when all eleven voices
are begging for attention
you need twenty two separate times
you offered them attention first
whatever you ask of them
twice as much
you must give
and from whatever love you put in
twice as much
you will get
the flower picked at seven
is dead by eleven
& no fear
they pick another
picked for mother
i don’t think humans were made
to walk single file
they reach for flowers
they run and trip
it is the concrete we made
that scrapes their knees
i don’t think humans were made
to walk single file
will we live again?
i don’t know
i said
but there is some reason to think so
he waited
it’s just that sometimes when i love someone
i get a feeling that i am them
i just haven’t been them yet
i have seen myself in clouds and trees
and, i know, i am not them right now
so, it seems, perhaps i have already been
and do you love me?
we asked
and we don’t know
and will know
we will know
eventually

sleep
or smile all day
maybe they won’t remember
a single thing I say
maybe their letters won’t improve
maybe their friendships will come and go
maybe they won’t listen
maybe they won’t line up
maybe they won’t sit down
maybe they won’t shut up
and maybe none of that is so bad
at all
maybe what they, and all of us, need
is just a place to be
safe
and know
that there is space
for us and every feeling and every
every need
and everything we bring
into today
at least
they’ll know (I think)
that here, they knew
that they had space
for every feeling
and every need
how carefully he asked
if I’d be here when he got back
he’ll keep the feeling cards
to share with his sister
Mad
and Frustrated
Happy
and Sad
he’ll try to express himself
without huffing at dad
but in our whole conversation
of feelings and needs
of words we can use
instead of our screams
I still can’t get past
how carefully
he asked
if I’d be here
if I’d be here
when he got back
When there are twelve of them
it is a sea.
I am lucky to be alive
with so much life around me.
We are not sailors
but there is something to the starboard way
// to the wind in our sails we need
more today than yesterday.
So much of their life
is spent in a day —
such a large fraction is
the next thing I say.
They wonder so much more
than all the adults I know —
their appetite for answers
exceeds their patience though.
Christ let me not do what my parents did.
GOD let me not ever say “because I said so”
// again
and GOD, if YOU would, see our sails are all out
please take a big breath and blow us about.
Amen.