this is where i am
and there is a fight
some people want me to have
with myself
and i won’t have it
not anymore
not just right now
but maybe not ever
I’m okay
in every single way
and the tension they want in me
that they see
I don’t
I won’t see
I’m just one. me in
unity
-
which is worse
which is worse to endure?
your lifelong friend taking his life
or the love of one’s life just taking it from you?
both are forever deads
just one is literal
the other cosmological
astronomical and fucking unbearable
one gets a proper funeral
both win constant reminders
one mouth still moves to blame you
the other mouth is in your head
and it fucking blames you toowe are about to find out
in the absolute treasure of my life -
In poetic language I hear us often speak
banter upon banter of what we could not
convey with little human wordsso stanzas pass with very little said.
We let little words spray the page
…little words to trace the wayto my saying she is diamonds
each a hundred thousand cut
casing her incandescentsoul. To see her, my word, is to see her
turning perfect light
into multicolor skies. I…I want this light
I want these skies
for the rest of my life.Lo, who is speaking with words again?
I am but pointing at, unbelievable, divine things
recalling how words betray me likewhen I said she shines bright
but meant just to be painting ebullient rainbows
that fill up canvas nights with technicolored auroras; pouring out of her self…when I said she was beautiful
but meant just
look at her.