were original
then subjugated
all spiritual
all lovely
gods love
in a vial
in your hand
divvied out to us
you know already
we all pray, for the wrong things
sin is all giving
without knowledge of the need
better to listen
than to force-feed
were original
then subjugated
all spiritual
all lovely
gods love
in a vial
in your hand
divvied out to us
you know already
we all pray, for the wrong things
sin is all giving
without knowledge of the need
better to listen
than to force-feed
everyone can swim
and for those of us who can’t
God parts the sea
and everyone walks
had we no Image
my God, we could never part anything
thank God, thank God
we do
A pair of pink pants—
Dad says,
“Strange, isn’t it?
Pink once stood for boys
before it got swapped from some marketing push.”
I see some sparkly high heels—
Mom nods,
“Men wore these first—
Persian soldiers, French nobility—
heels meant power, not ‘girliness.’ back then.”
Further on, a glittering eyeshadow palette—
Dad taps it and says
“Powder and rouge
were symbols of status
in the 18th century;
kings and courtiers wore them a lot.”
We come to a crib—
Mom’s voice turns soft:
“Not all women carry children—
it doesn’t make them any less,
and even my being a mother
does not make me any more of a woman.”
Beyond that were diaper bags marked “For Dads”—
Dad shrugs:
“Plenty of men don’t become fathers,
some fathers have wombs—
biology isn’t as simple
as this way or that.”
They pause and look at me:
“So… which one are you?” they ask
I swallow my questions,
feeling unsure.
“I am not certain,” I say.
They smile,
“Then let’s keep walking! I’m sure you’ll find something.”
I pass some bright sequined pants,
Mom remembers,
“There was a time
women weren’t allowed to wear pants all—
but nobody bats an eye at that now.”
A well-tailored suit catches my eye—
Dad runs a hand over the fabric:
“Men often wore fancy skirts, too—
think of kilts, or robes of old kings.
Clothes don’t tell us what is inside of a person.”
They ask me again,
“So… which one are you then?”
I look from item to item—
pink and blue, glitter and denim,
cribs and caps,
it’s a swirling centuries of things!
My answer rises, clearer this time:
“I don’t want to be either,” I say.
“Why do I have to decide?”
Mom and Dad both pause
and then softly smile
I hold each of their hands
and we leave the aisles behind.
i was always going to die
some people are never born again
i was always going to lose everything
think i’m lucky to be alive for it
you can be born as many times as you want
without asking anyone
i was always going to die
some people are never born again
i clasp
the curve of my back
i have watered and watered myself
only to hide what i have grown
disappear my sex into my soul
before god split man in two, we were whole
i have claimed myself o’er and o’er
i have burned my body up in truth
the rash of beauty along my body
was never owed to me
it betrays the sex of my soul
i clasp the curve of my back
to grow old & old and run out of time & strength
to keeping hiding and hidden
what has grown
two hundred and forty dollar walk
i’ll have a new brother by the end of it
five hundred and ninty nine songs on my discovery playlist
and not one more
for almost four years
i’ll stall and stall until i have something to say
on a two hundred and forty dollar walk
i’m heaving
a fat burrito in my gut
it will at least be downhill on the way back
two pistols
i worry for my own pressing eyes
right to Grand Blvd
to the UPS store
a two hundred and forty dollar walk
i’ll never hear the end of this
not one more
for almost four hundred years
the Neanderthals looked like us
that’s where the uncanny valley came from
someone looks like my brother
but everything is off enough
that i know it’s not
someone looks like my family
but they hate the immigrant and refugee
so i know they’re not