nathanael.ink

ebb and flow, as something pours up over, from under something is withdrawing. in the same instant, He gives and takes away..

I had not know, surely I had not, that Love would be enough, when love was not. that Love could come through and disorient me from the consistency of a cruel world; that Love could have me believing in a joy that is. is. is. without reason it. is. and peace that is just there, without the sense or backing of my brain. there must be an understanding that many things cannot be understood EVEN to by “understanding it is not understandable” for that, is too much understanding to create enough. I think, when He says faith like a mustard seed, it is, very, very logical(as logical as can be regarding faith.) as faith to me, if my loose grasp of it would think, is a solid action and thought which is to fill the space between two points of a logical thought, between the end is disclosing the problem in full detail and heading toward scrounging for a seed to plant in a fertile and sound location in my brain; one which hopefully has been dedicated to the operating methods which God has displayed from literature and Heaven.

I think, perhaps is it just my poor word choice, but I often call someone an idiot, while love is in my heart. now, maybe it is just a severely poor understanding of love, which I would not hesitate to believe if someone knowing more of love could support against me, but it just seems I seldom have a scab so hard that I forget the sour inside or the pleasure that preceded the pain. It is easy for me to harbor, but hard to hold

onto it, and perhaps to you, to each human being which interacts with me, you could come as soon go, and I might not feel more or less than a love which does not regard any words we exchange. maybe, I should value that I value people, believing that in fact most people do not find value is others, while I do, even when I refer to them as idiot and perhaps even wastes of my time.

oh and music, is a beautiful distraction