don’t know if I can begin to express
the way a body feels
when a body leaves what a body is
to be what a body is
to me.
-
-
Did you know I loved you
when our hearts beat
when the sun rose
when the hand you held
was holding yoursat your mother’s house we could hold each other up
past the sun
at the same door I knew to ignore
now my chest is for
your head to restthere were hours I felt nothing
there were hours I did not know
did you know I could love you
when I was not sure -
Make no mistake
I could love you better if we had no bodies at all -
We, we are the ones who see
We the ones who wield words the most
We see the thing in which we mean to be crafting up a cage and carrying to you
..that not a single thing will fit in the largest or most elaborate cages we make.. -
trying to sleep
Close them close them please
I keep unsealing eyes to find a life;
but absent of time I can survive
sealed up in wet animal eyes
no conscious thought- just distortions of what I want
to be thinking and cannot… -
I laid out a table for to die upon
Yĕhovah overturned my table
and outdid the totality of death. -
Its not like us
all spread apart, you holy and all that,
I was lonely but they say it means
well I don’t know what
but its uneasying.I undertook that high
you, the honest, realized
we were siblings at best
gross and physical, undone and all
should’a never kissed like we said
we wouldn’t at first. Should’a never
walked along beaches or trails or sat on hills or seen the stars or lights or lulled on wedding-nights
far far too much to take at all… -
That was me. That was me. That was
me in your shadow and around your lungs
heavy breath and racing hearts I was
that man you gave my name.. -
*won’t ever give up
I *
Because I love you
Because I refuse to
You said you *
I swore I *
But.. why did..? I * I *******************
Fuck.
-
So many people think I’m a piece of shit
So many think I am not
Which the fuck am I… i feel certain of one, then the other comes plowing in and strikes me on the jaw .. torture is to be trapped between the two.. death holdfast.. to me holdfast.. if you are in or outside i don’t know but
if you take me, leave my body in lime deep in a hole in the ground..If this soul can leave the body, let us see where it goes
nathanael.ink 