three birds and rain
i can’t see the sun
two ferns and every politician
soak
the musicality of love
we want our ideas
don’t wait
don’t wait
don’t think we’re not the same
feudal italy
spanish inquiries
the worst thing you can believe
is that we’re not the same
it didn’t rain
bushes and birds
and trees, they had trees
the worst thing we ever invented
was the illusion of control
I notice that the more I treat children how I would treat adults
the more other teachers accuse me of “babying” the children
how dare I give them a choice
how dare I not force them to sit down and shut up
how dare I let them tell me “no” and explain their reason why
how dare I, you know,
let them grow
Bluebird and Mourning Dove love to play.
They play in the meadow.
They play near the pond.
They play around the tree.
One day Bluebird wanted to fly to the far away pond with Mourning Dove by their side.
When Mourning Dove thought of flying so far away their need for safety and security came up.
Mourning Dove began to feel very scared and very sad.
Mourning Dove said “I think the far away pond is just too far away for me.”
Bluebird grieved.
Bluebird really thought that flying to far away pond would meet their need for adventure today
After some time Bluebird had a new idea
“what if we fly to the flowery meadow?” Bluebird exclaimed
“that sounds fun for me!” said Morning Dove
So together they flew, just a little far away
That day they learned that it’s okay to say no
and by sharing their needs they found a new way to play
and that’s what we call a beautiful no
when we stand up for our needs
without saying mean things.
when a single Harper Adams dies
the earth of seeds & petals cry
a low and quiet cry
:: cup your hands over your ears
to hear ::
the lull of mindfulness we want to feel
in child’s pose
to drink the drink of happiness
from the yellow of the rose
whose name we say is meaningless
unto the content of its soul
but all we want is happiness
& all we do
is name
and name and name
even the naming of the rose
mattering’s house is present
it can feel elusive but isn’t
you’ll pass every tombstone and birth certificate
look for its window toward the future
that’s where mattering sometimes sits for breakfast
if you pass the moment you have gone too far
but carry on if you still see anything behind you
mattering’s house is present
they can’t live anywhere else
look for the mayfly or dandelion seed in the air
they aren’t exactly there but at least you’ll know you’re near
we’ve passed the house I think a thousand times while reading this
but don’t worry it is still there
oh, and their house has everything in it
you will love being, well,
here
i want to feel awake
i like to be baptized
so that a man’s hand on my back can shoot me up from the water
you forget
there is a last time you’ll swim with your father
in a plastic pool or city lake
and even if he mostly held you under
sometimes still
he shot you up from the water
and the water looking on
and us awake
i keep pulling the sheets off of my head
but it’s not the same
for every minute you’re teaching them
you need two
of play togethering
for every time they look up at you
or come and find you
you need two
where you saw and found them first
for every project you make them do
you need two
invented on their own
and when all eleven voices
are begging for attention
you need twenty two separate times
you offered them attention first
whatever you ask of them
twice as much
you must give
and from whatever love you put in
twice as much
you will get
PREPARATION
4 TRAYS FOR JUICE AND BREAD
Crackers in cabinet by window as is extra juice
Put about 20 to 25 crackers per tray
If we have the gluten free 2 go in center
Of each tray
There is a gadget that is used to fill the juice
And fill at least up to ring of the silver tray
The glass vase is filled about 1/2 full
Refrigerator has the bread to go on plate. (if you
do not see plate look in cabinet above sink)
The goblet will be up there also.
Put bread and juice on piano and organ please.
CLEAN UP
Off the communion table bring the communion
Items to the kitchen to be washed.
You need to go thru the church and pick up the
Cups and paper left behind.
Fill the communion trays with cups every other
One and put down in the cabinet with the
Bread trays.
Make sure kitchen is neat and turn light off.
Volunteers
Volunteers are unpaid…
Not because they are
Worthless…
But because they are
Priceless !!
if it turns out that GOD
is legible
to my mind
then where are the words located
with respect to me
if GOD is a voice I hear
in my head
did Jesus hear it too? and if Jesus is Christ and Christ is GOD
does GOD hear the same voice that we do?
(even if it’s just the way I hear my voice in my head)
Do GODs thoughts run in trains like mine
or are they somehow all at once
the closest thing I know to that
is a panic attack
when all the windows into my conscious mind quickly close
and even I can’t get access back
it looks like when two trains collide
that’s why I wonder if it happens when too many thoughts overlap
I want a faith so strong it doesn’t matter how the facts turn out
If GOD is a voice to me the way that Judah has become
does that at least mean GOD was once alive? like Judah once was?
I don’t want to be afraid of finding things out about the world
maybe it’s like how some people say
that people change
but we can’t know for sure if they change
or if we just learn more about them
or they learn more about them
whatever GOD is like
with or just a voice or not
I hope that GOD
will stay.
why am I in so much pain
my body aches
does my body know
what my heart’s been through?
I want an algorithm to stitch me in a sonnet
I want to be pretty but my mind and words I think are ruined
my esophagus keeps closing
it is hard to breathe
& hard to breathe
and my esophagus is closing
it’s like my body wants to shut me up
but I find other ways
to say my peace
and ruin things
I want to be pretty & grieve
and lie and cheat and steal for good reasons
I want to be so transcendentally things
that everything I know and believe translates into me
I could read their mind and know
they heard me out and understood
and there would be no judgement
when I am everything
because knowing all the good reasons we got here
would get us all the good will we’d need to leave
leave suffering
and ecstasies
and everything
in between
so that every experience takes on equal incandescent degrees and specificity
takes on all the meaning an experience could ever be
it is not a game of raising up
or thinking more highly of
it is to dispose of scales completely
it is not a flattening
it is where no two things have any two points of comparison
where each experience takes on its own complete dimensionality
better and worse lose application
I know this is just the sort of thing one might expect to find in poetry…
it’s just… I’m sick and throbbing and all I want is to stop wishing I wasn’t
nathanael.ink 